“Gender roles offer orientation. But they also limit. Masculinity in the classical sense is not important for me: it’s always about being the strongest. To me, new masculinity means freedom, openness and respect for individual paths in life.

“When I have children one day, I want to raise them so that they treat others with respect. If I had to decide whether I wanted to be successful as a football player or as a family man, I would definitely say the latter. A family lasts much longer than a football career, you can influence it much more, and that makes you proud all your life. I’m a real family man, probably because I left home at the age of 16 and moved to England to play for Arsenal.

“My father came with me, lived with me, I always had him around me. He also saved me from many bad influences, for which I am really grateful to him. My father drove me to training from an early age and took me to every tournament. He even put his work on hold so that I could be happy, so that I could play football, which I enjoyed the most. I don’t come from a typical family, with us Mama was actually the one who worked.

“My father made sure that I was well, that I was good to other people and that I would get my life together later on and not depend on anyone.

“But he also raised me with a certain strictness and always told me his opinion openly and honestly, even if it hurt. When my team lost a really important game, I cried in front of him. Also once, when he was our coach and yelled at me for my teammates’ mistakes. But that made me tougher. That’s what shapes you for life. You can deal better with criticism. My father accompanied my whole career and was always there for me. Football has given us a really tight bond. He is a role model for me.

At Arsenal, Per Mertesacker was a great role model for me. He took me under his wing, taught me a lot, above all to take on responsibility. That’s something I want to pass on to young players now. Kids in general. I want to give young people tips, tell them about my experiences so that they can learn something from them.

“In competitive sports, it is often considered a weakness when men talk about pressure, and when we reveal what we really think and feel. But everyone has weaknesses and fears. This is often forgotten because, like machines, we always have to step on the gas pedal, always have to perform. If we talked more about feelings, things would change. It would be clear that we are only human beings, that we make mistakes, that things can’t always go well. The mood in the team or your own would change, you would get to know yourself in new ways. Maybe that would be a way to escape all the pressure, to perform in a new way, to act in a new way and to have a different self-confidence.

“I had a really hard time at Arsenal when I was injured for a long time. I was out for a year and when I came back I was loaned to West Bromwich Albion where I only played once. Of course you wonder what’s going on, what you have to change, if you can make it or not. My father told me to believe in it, he certainly would. And Per also helped me back then, he really took care of me.

“Joshua Kimmich is now my best friend at FC Bayern, I have already played with him in the youth team at VfB Stuttgart. We are very close. When you’re in the group, it’s more about being cool or making a joke. Over time you learn to deal with the remarks you get every day in the dressing room, including about outfits. When I wear these pants, people ask me if I’m going skiing later or if I’m living in the 1970s. But I have my personal style and I feel comfortable in it. I love to wear clothes that make others say, ‘What’s this about? How can you dress like that? That’s far too eye-catching!’ The most important thing is to have self-confidence. Also in terms of style.”